i realize i spend a lot of time reminiscing about memories- good and bad. and today's ease of typing blogs and viewing old entries makes it hard to escape feelings of the past. yesterday evening i spent some time reading my old livejournal, and old myspace comments. not sure what got me to do that..but my brain wandered to past things and i thought ..hmm this may be fun.
what i realized was the preposterous things i thought, felt and even said were embarrassing and sometimes even shameful. of course there is always some very fun/funny things such as comments from friends and from Johnny that are just classic. but the lame things i wrote about...the ignorance that pervaded much of my complaining is just sickening.
so what can i make of all that. today, when my spiritual hunger and thirst is not what it was once..I can have hope that God has been sanctifying me all this time...and its only by His Word and His people that this has happened. hurts, trials, tempatations and the like have only proved to draw me closer to Him and to purge the dross in my refining.
still its so funny to read how blatantly obvious some of my "secret" feelings about people were written about (good and bad) and how passively aggressive i handled situations. i'm thankful for my husband and for the realization of things i never thought would happen-as i so stated in much of my ramblings.
Lord, thank you for the past and what it can teach us...but thank you even more for the present and future so that we can continue to rely on Your words and Your providences to sustain us.
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